When Sabrina Carpenter hosted Saturday Night Live on Oct. 18, she was in nearly every sketch — including at least one that didn’t make it to air. Luckily, we can watch it now through the magic of, um, TikTok.
The sketch is a mock advertisement inspired by the fact that the quality most women seem to be interested in these days is height. Sabrina is shown on a date with a guy, saying she’s disappointed with men who “try too hard to be funny or interesting — especially the little ones.”
She then unveils a giant, Barbie-style box containing cast member Ben Marshall and says, “That’s why I switched to Tall, Plain Boyfriend. No drama. No personality. Just a long body with hair on head,” she says. “All the girlies will be jealous.”
Cue Sarah Sherman asking Sabrina, “What does he do for work? Where did he grow up? What’s his name?” The answer to all of those questions? “Who cares? He’s 6’5″.”
After Tall, Plain Boyfriend shows that he’s not smart or interesting, Sabrina notes, “Because if you need a deep conversation, b****, listen to a podcast.”
“Does Tall, Plain Boyfriend have a perfect face? Girl, I can barely see up there. That’s none of my business,” she continues. She then shows off some of Tall, Plain Boyfriend’s “empathetic catchphrases,” which include “Damn, that sucks,” “That’s so crazy” and “It’s crazy how much that sucks.”
“So get yourself a Tall, Plain Boyfriend,” Sabrina concludes. “He may not make you laugh, or think, but he will make you feel tiny!” Marshall then scoops up Sabrina and carries her offstage.
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