Taylor Swift‘s documentary Miss Americana premiered Thursday at the Sundance Film Festival, where fans received an uncomfortable glimpse at the high cost of fame.
“It’s not good for me to see pictures of myself every day,” says Swift in a voiceover as the movie shows her being hounded by photographers outside her front door. The Lover artist goes on to reveal that she suffered from an eating disorder, “it’s only happened a few times, and I’m not in any way proud of it.”
“It” being when she’d see a photo of herself, find something wrong with her weight, and “starve a little bit. Just stop eating.”
Swift opened up for the first time on Thursday about her eating disorder during an interview with Variety. There, the “Shake It Off” singer reveals she first began obsessing over her weight when she was 18.
“I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine. And the headline was like ‘Pregnant at 18?’ And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat,” she explained before adding that her desire to be liked eventually made her view her body almost like a commodity, where it needed to look a certain way to be worthy of praise.
“Women are held to such a ridiculous standard of beauty, and we’re seeing so much on social media that makes us feel like we are less than, or we’re not what we should be,” She added before crediting celebrities like Jameela Jamil who stand up for body positivity for helping her calm down whenever she begins having “unhealthy thoughts.”
Miss Americana, where Swift speaks further about her battle with eating disorders and other struggles with fame, arrives January 31 on Netflix.
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